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White Hotel

by Greyhands

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1.
Alone again and the cracks start to show Inside out and made up of holes There is a prison for me In my head where I’ve always been Alone again and the cracks start to show Inside out and made up of holes I was afraid to say that you were never mine...
2.
You don’t have the time, now you’ve taken all of mine I can hear you... Everybody always hears Every goddamn word you say And I just want to spit it all out backwards You want us all to cut you slack well Guess what? The line is completely limp I’d grab you by the collar and shake you stupid But you don’t even show up to your own shit Do you want to know what I think? You say you do but... You don’t have the time, now you’ve taken all of mine Yeah I heard you... Every single word you say but I can’t wring a drop of meaning Out of this oily rag of yours You promised me a sniff to life off I haven’t even seen the fucking thing And I know your check would have bounced But I’m still waiting for you to sign it; you’d better still sign it Do you know what the biggest disappointment is The biggest disappointment is I believed you I believed you I can’t believe that I believed you cos You don’t have the time, now you’ve taken all of mine... No, I can’t hear you now
3.
Porcelain 02:43
You locked your porcelain secrets in a drawer One day you forgot where your keys were So bring hammer down on wood Either way it is lost for good You locked your porcelain secrets in a drawer I untied the knots inside my brain And pulled it out to a linear strain While my head now hurts less Everything makes much less sense I untied the knots inside my brain
4.
My poor idiot friend gets so impatient... Don’t get impatient now... Here comes the trouble round a the bend There’s no escape for my idiot friend...
5.
I called to see if you would answer I called to see if you’d pick up the phone I hung up when it went to your voicemail cos I Get kinda funny when I’ve spent too much time alone And I’ve spent too much time alone Sometimes I get nervous Forgive me I was nervous I don’t mean to be so quiet I hope you know that I don’t mean to And I don’t mean to be so distant I just don’t know what else I can do Yeah, you don’t either do you? Sometimes I get nervous Forgive me I was nervous Now I can’t stop thinking I jumped at my phone ringing The department called to see Why I hadn’t been Filling out any of my forms I guess I can’t avoid Being unemployed When I already work three jobs I’m not unemployed I’m underemployed I already work three jobs I’m not unemployed I’m not unemployed I already work three jobs I hate it when they call to see... I didn’t know it could get better I still hope it could get better... And where is my brother? Can I lean on another?
6.
Needlepin 03:18
Today was the day that the world caved in Not surprising, given the state of everything Oh no, oh no, the cloth is wearing thin Should repair it, in stead we’ll just tear it Today was the day that the world caved in Not surprising, given the state of everything Oh no, oh no, the cloth is wearing thin Wish I were a needle when I am only a pin Can I get some peace and quiet? Can you just not write me off? Let me be free from expectation Give me my bat and ball I am going home Let me go and just hate me Can I not be lazy like you said I am? Can I not just be dead weight? Can I not be a mindless consumer? Can I not be a hedonist with some shitty job? Let me go and just hate me How bad does it have to get Before someone leaves?... Today was the day that the world caved in Not surprising, given the state of everything Oh no, oh no, the cloth is wearing thin Should repair it, in stead we’ll just tear it Today was the day that the world caved in Not surprising, given the state of everything Oh no, oh no, the cloth is wearing thin Wish I were a needle when I am only a pin
7.
Endless summer Stifling heat Endless stifling Summer The driest air Breathe it in It dries your lungs out Now let it out You are sighing You’ve been awake for hours It’s 10am It’s been light since 5 and You’re still in bed With no glass of water In a pool of sweat In bed you’re lying Skin is drying Sighing, sighing Check the mail Just to leave the house You’ve got to do something So check the mail Check the mail... Why can’t you just check the mail? Please stop sighing! Breathing’s no more Than sighing, sighing Your life is no more Than sighing, sighing This feeling isn’t rain Your tear-ducts are drying out Nothing’s leaking out Not from a lack of trying Here comes the rain...
8.
It always happens like this I am the clue that you missed There’s no glass pane to shatter A mind over no matter I’m the ignorance of your own bliss I’m an amnesiac on a mission An improvisation tactician But what do I mean? Can I even be seen? Am I a semitransparentsuperimposition? You always called me inefficient And you cut out my intermission Now I can’t think And my opacity sinks Into a semitransparentsuperimposition I refuse to grow any dimmer If the light hits me right I will shimmer And maybe you will see Just what I can be If you squint your eyes tight In a way you forget not to See all the borders They taught you to see And I always tried to show you But you saw what you saw And I tried to tell you But you wouldn’t listen And I wanted you to see But you doomed me to be Some kind of semitransparentsuperimposition
9.
The sky shines brilliant as I fly overhead Staring out the window over the wing They asked me if I could help in an emergency But when it came to you the answer was “no” I’ve been here before when Michael let go But I saw your decent into the demon’s hold That held you two feet above the ground And now you’re six feet underneath Now you’re safe Now you’re safe With two knotted ropes and two square stones And two names roughly scratched into my conscience You slipped through fingers that weren’t there to catch you (Should have I been a better friend?) And a friend on the line told me at the end of the greatest day Said that I was missing, that I had missed your funeral But I didn’t know you were having one I didn’t know I didn’t know and-- Now you’re safe
10.
Trapped in a house like I was Cooking down all of your traumas Your job quit you again; now you’re sleeping in till noon Everything has got to be your fault somehow You’ve got to take your time take it easy on yourself and If this is what you are then I think it’s alright Yeah, it’s alright Your friend sold you out Boys keep your spirit pinned down Life is miserable work; you think that is all your worth When you just want to go home for the summer early Someday you’ll escape and someone will finally see you saying If this is what you are then I think it’s alright Yeah, it’s alright You lost all control and you obsessed Till you stopped your seizures in excess I saw you lying there wandering through hell As a robot did your breathing for you If only you had known who was somewhere round the bend to say I this is what you are then I think it’s alright Yeah, it’s alright... Breaking down doesn’t mean you’re broken I know words you’ve never spoken You’re not a failure no matter how you’ve failed Don’t forget the part of you that goes on always You don’t have to be ashamed I love you more than you can know I this is what you are then I think it’s alright Yeah, it’s alright...
11.
Traffic 10:30
Some days I have a head like a car crash And my thoughts turn to death and won’t go Like maybe today I’ll get hit by a bus But the traffic always moves slow The traffic always moves so Slowly I sit up and I realise I’ve been taking to myself again I know I worry them but I can’t help it Because these walls are so very thin And yeah I was babbling About getting into a car crash Just to see what would happen I know it’s stupid But I still wanna know, but The traffic always moves slow... On Tuesdays How many hours Will it take me To finally get Out of bed today? And for a moment I get distracted From staying still So I head out And find myself Behind the wheel I catch every red light Turn down every dead end road Change lanes at Every wrong moment Where do I even go? Who are all these people? Is it only me who’s stuck? Where is that open road? Can someone tell me why The traffic always moves slow... On Tuesdays I hit the freeway so I hit the accelerator ‘til I hit the speed limit but I hit a bend so I hit my brakes but They hit their limit so I hit the barrier I hit the windshield Flew through the windshield Flew through the air Flew for miles Miles and miles Out over the city And I was screaming Til I got bored And checked my phone messages Turns out I messaged you more than I remembered I guess cos there were more bad days than I remembered Next thing I knew half my life had passed Next thing I knew I hit the ground I never stopped looking down Saying some days I have a head like a car crash And my thoughts turn to death and won’t go Maybe today I’ll get out of bed and go But the traffic always moves slow The traffic always moves slow On Tuesdays... I think you were the one who scraped me up You were always the one to scrape me up I didn’t know what had happened You were always there when things happened Or didn’t happen Nothing keeps happening I keep on happening This keeps on happening Next thing I knew I was coming to On this black leather couch somewhere And sitting there with me is a guy who looks a lion And he’s dressed up nice just like I would be if I ever had the fucking money And my eyes are closed and the room is stretching And swelling and shrinking and spinning around me And there’s this black rock in my chest and Glue in my stomach and a rubber band around my throat And I’m out in the desert somewhere Out in the desert with an elephant with the universe in its eyes And it looks deep within me and it understands better than I do As it’s wearing my crown like a golden arabesque And it holds me in its trunk so gently It holds me and I just start crying and I can’t stop crying But there’s this bright light; it’s the past catching up And I wake up underneath the trees And it’s all quiet... Except for the breeze Yeah they treat me well Here in the white hotel The elephant tells me to stand It’s a part of me now So I’m no longer Held down by Strange ghosts with Grey hands

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released May 29, 2020

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Greyhands Adelaide, Australia

Greyhands is the acoustic project of Adelaide artist JC Finlay. Taking influence from Death Cab For Cutie, Radiohead, Animal Collective, and Leonard Cohen, Greyhands seeks to create unique acoustic music that is both raw and emotionally honest.

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